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In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she. We are good for now. Come on in."Female intuition – Red must have sensed something was off."Peter, why don't you finish up setting the table. The food is on the counter. I want to talk to Mich for a few minutes".They went off to their sanctum and I grabbed plates and silver ware. There was an assortment of cold cuts and breads, some nice cheese and three shrimp cocktails.Everything was set when they came out of the room. It looked like Michelle had cried. There was just a bit of red around her eyes."Ladies, what are we drinking?" "Beer" "Glasses or bottles?" "Bottles, this casual."After lunch while the ladies went back to their reading, I made some coffee and then poked around the bookshelf that took up almost one whole wall. Of course there were some legal stuff but to my surprise some first editions of some of the Zane Grey western stories. Now I was intrigued. I grabbed one and opened it up and there was an inscription "To my daughter Red with love Dad"Wow – I would have never.
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